The Best and Most difficult day of my life: The Delivery Story

Is it real? Am I really writing this post? After waiting almost 41 weeks (40 and 6 days to be precise) for the day we would finally meet Zuriel, now, it almost seems surreal. Looking back onto the events of last week I can confidently say that those were days I will never ever forget!

After our doctor's appointment on Thursday 5/17, we had determined that the baby and I were doing just fine. So, we would wait for another few days and see. Our next appointment was scheduled again for Tuesday when we reached 41 weeks and I was really hoping I would not have to wait any longer. Truth is, although the plan was to go about the birth as natural as possible, the anxiety level was reaching its limit.

And so came Friday... I was feeling my uterus contract occasionally but did not notice any regular pattern. I continued walking and doing all kinds of other exercises to try to help him along but nothing seemed to change. Friday night came and after vespers at church I noticed the contractions were happening more frequently. I did not feel any pain but I could tell they were there so I started timing them. they came on and off just about every 15-30 min and then they would space out. Since these are far from what I was waiting for to start going to the hospital, I was not impressed, but they were enough to keep me up that entire night... hoping...

Sabbath morning came and we got ready and went to church. I could still feel contractions here and there but not regularly so, I ignored them (or tried). After church we came home for lunch and afterwards Marlon and I took a walk. In the evening we went to a Young Adult meeting and came home right afterwards. That is when I noticed the contractions started to feel a little more painful. When we went to bed I was sure I could feel them so I started to time them again. Now they were 7-15 minutes apart. I definitely couldn't sleep now, so for the second night in a row I was wide awake except this time the pain kept me up. It started mild at first but as the night progressed I had to walk around and sway during the contractions to help manage. Despite the pain, I was very happy and excited. After all, this is what I was waiting for all along.

Sabbath after church

As we had discussed with the doctor, we were to come in when contractions were 5 minutes apart for 1 hour. By morning, my contractions were 3-7 minutes apart. So, we decided I would have breakfast and get ready to go. The only problem was that after breakfast the contractions were gone. They spaced out hours apart...:( So we went for more walking. Around noon, the contractions had not yet returned like they were but I also noticed the baby didn't seem to be moving as much. Needless to say, I called the doctor and we started towards the hospital.

When we arrived I was seen in triage. Baby looked great on the monitor and I was about 4 cm dilated and 90% effaced, in other words, definitely in labor. By the time I was admitted and rechecked in the room I had dilated an extra cm and almost fully effaced. I was still planing on going without anesthesia but when the contractions finally returned they came back full force and all the breathing exercises I had learned did not seem enough to keep me relaxed during them. So, eventually I gave in and asked for the epidural.

much happier after the epidural =)

Daddy posting updates

Almost there

I think that was actually one of the best decisions I made that day. As soon as I got the epidural the contractions came stronger and stronger, closer and closer, sometimes even doubling up...at least I could remain relaxed. At that point I was just the happiest person alive. Once in a while, depending on the side I was laying, the baby's heartbeat would slow down slightly. Nothing to worry about really at that point, we dismissed as probably just some chord compression on that side. Labor progressing beautifully, no pain, now it was just a matter of time before the baby arrived.

9 cm down 1 cm to go

By 10 pm I was ready to start pushing. How exciting!!!! With the first "test push" I was able to move the little guy from -1 to 0 station. That was definitely reassuring, I thought. However, minutes passed by, then an hour, then more, and no baby. This is when knowing how things work did not help. Not only I could see fear and worry in people's faces I could also hear the baby's heartbeat slow down during and right after contractions (late decels). I noticed more people coming in the room (I was assuming they had called a NICU nurse) and they were preparing the suction and other apparel in the incubator next to the bed.

My doctor came in the room and the pushing continued. The nurses tried to do different things to help the baby along such as changing my position and some form of shaking and swaying but nothing helped. After pushing as hard as I could for two hours I was thoroughly exhausted. I could not hold my breath long enough to finish the pushes at the end of contractions. At that point, the doctor told me to take a 10 minute break before we continued. I was laid on my side and all I could think about was that I was going to faint or die. I was scared, very scared. Even with the epidural I could feel the pressure of the contractions now and I could also hear Zuri's heartbeat slow down every time with every one of them. I had oxygen on and all I could do was pray and try hard not to cry...there was no giving up now.

Once the doctor returned, I told her I could not push any more...she said even if I could that would not change the fact that we were not going to push anymore. She was worried about the baby and said we needed to go for an emergency c-section. When she said that, I felt both a sense of relief (I really had no more energy to push) and immediate anxiety. Once again, it doesn't help that all the risks associated with the procedure were running through my head. I remember that my first and biggest concern was that I had to lie flat on my back and just the thought of it made me nauseous. I also had to take some medication to neutralize the stomach acid to help in case I aspirated (so i didn't have to end up in the ICU, I was told)... the only problem is that I was already worried that I would be sick. After holding the cup on my hand for a few minutes and begging not to have to drink it, I eventually took it.

By this time there were several people in the room each doing something different to get me ready for the c-section. Marlon was given his special clothes and was putting them on. All I remember is closing my eyes, taking deep breaths, and trying to control the shaking in my body. Soon, they were wheeling me out of the room and into the OR.

Daddy suited up for the OR and maybe a bit worried...

Once in the OR the preparations continued and when I saw Marlon come in I knew they were starting. As expected i did not feel pain then but i sure felt a lot of pressure in my abdomen. Once they were ready to get Zuri out, the anesthesiologist told Marlon to get up so he could see. He did. It took a little while (which felt like eternity) to hear his cry. Marlon told me later he looked very very purple as they pulled him out and unwrapped the umbilical chord from his neck. Turns out the chord was wrapped three times around his neck making it physically impossible for him to be born naturally since there was not enough chord. Had they tried to use other methods to pull him out we would be in serious danger. Praise God he come out as healthy as could be!

As soon as I heard his cry I started crying. I could not see him but from that moment, the sound of his cry was forever ingrained in my head. When they took him to the incubator I was glad I could finally see him, even if from afar. I told Marlon to go there and be with him (he was emotional too and not sure what to do at that point). He did. After Zuri was clean, they brought him briefly by my face, I gave him a kiss, and they took him to the nursery. Marlon went with him and got to carry him there.

From that point on I was much more calm. Nothing else mattered. Our son was here.

As they finished the surgery, the anesthesiologist loaded me up with all kinds of pain medication making me very drowsy. I hated the feeling of being drowsy especially because I felt like I had to count my breaths to make sure they weren't too slow. I could hear my heart beat on the monitor in recovery and every time I drifted to sleep it would slow down and get worried that I had been given too much narcotics...(I seriously considered asking for Narcan a couple of times).

The nurse in recovery was very nice. After Marlon came and started telling me all about Zuri, the nurse started calling the nursery so they could bring the baby to me. That meant a lot! When Zuri came...(no words)

The days of recovery have not been very easy but I am grateful to have a wonderful and supportive family that is dedicated to helping me heal.

Wow, this was a long story...

Today, a week later (doesn't seem like a long time I know), we have already learned so much about this precious little one...

-He moves just as much outside my belly as he did inside
-He hates it when we have to hold his legs still even if it is to change his dirty diapers
-He will let himself be swaddled under one condition, he gets to keep his hands close to his face. try to swaddle him with his hands down... well, good luck.
-He loves his hands, Although I am pretty sure he doesn't know he controls them.
-He loves to make faces asleep or awake...
-When he is hungry... he is hungry
-He will not be deceived by the pacifier... he knows no food will come out of it.

and this is just to name a few...

As for me, I am still trying to master the ability of sleeping while he sleeps without waking up to every little noise he makes... it is way harder than it sounds...